With All Due Respect

May 8th, 2008

Michelle has a post up about “Things Muslims Don’t Like” and her first item is bikinis. She posts a couple of pictures of the offending attire:

bikinis

hasselbeck

I admire her attempt, I really do, but I respectfully contend that, if you’re going to come up with a true jihadi-offending collection of swimwear, the JC Penny catalog is not the most effective source. Allow me to present a more suitable collection for drawing the ire of the fundamentalists amongst us.

The key element of a properly offensive bikini post is the use of a suitably gifted model. There are many options, but Kelly Brook is always a fine choice:

brook1

Now, the nice thing about someone as popular as the lovely Ms. Brook is that we have an excellent assortment of religious-extremist-offending material to choose from. We can go with the traditional bikini look in the picture above, or we can go with something a little more risque:

brook2

Absolutely guaranteed to produce the deepest levels of offense. Perhaps, however, you prefer something a little more classic. The desire to offend with prurient material should never force anyone to abandon their love of refinement. I present, the Mary Ann look:

brook3

Of course, if you really want to offend, just skip the bikini altogether:

brook4

Your welcome.

4 Comments

  1. Comment by David Colborne

    This post is absolutely titillating.

  2. Comment by Rachel Lucas

    She’s fat.

    LOL

  3. Comment by alison

    I know you get this but i will say it anyway since women over there in the ME are fighting so hard for equality and I feel sorry for ‘em because we constantly make it harder for them.

    I think Michelle’s point was more ..bikinis e.g things women want to choose to wear on a beach somewhere to get a tan. Sweet of her to choose those pics.

    Not glamour modelling, sexuality and more skin - as indicative of ‘women’s rights’. Which is what the islamist nutters want you to do with this.

    For as long as this middle-finger arguing goes on between Islam and the West, it will be embarrassing that hardcore religious nutcases can easily lean on and point to this hijacked tits-out glossed up girrrrl power “feminism” as a way to effectively screw over the real deeper issues of basic women’s rights in that region.

    Like simply being able to wear jeans and a t shirt, have your hair down without gettng the shit beaten out of you or hell, even drive a car.

    They cover women up because they view their sexuality as a threat. We strip em down and get them to wiggle their tits at a camera and treat it as a joke. There is more to equality than that.

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