Army of Dog

Well, it’s been about a week since I last posted and I have to offer my sincerest apologies for the lack of activity.  I’ve been going through the mildly hellish task of moving the official Army of Dog headquarters.  Furniture looks nice when it’s sitting around, but every time I move, I suddenly feel the need to go back to the days of bean-bag chairs and futons.  I should also note that, as of this week, there is once again a canine member of the household.  He’s eight months old and full of enough energy on any given morning to power a small car for about six weeks.  Pics to follow as soon as I remember which damn box I put the camera in.

Today’s Arabic insult:

#8. “A thousand dicks in your religion” (Elif air ab dinikh)

Taken from Cracked’s The 9 Most Devastating Insults From Around the World  (fair warning: #4 is accompanied by some very disturbing imagery)

Plan on hearing many of these on this site in the coming months, I’m running out of insults for the Obamaphiles.

(Found via EHOWA (NSFW))

Those silly Alaskans are refusing to sacrifice worldly considerations, like not being poor, at the altar of “Climate Change” (I capitalized it because it’s just that fucking important people).  That’s okay though, because when our Lord and Savior Obama Christ becomes President, he’ll rain down legislative fire and brimstone on those sinners.  Then he’ll meet with Pope Al I and they will come up with brave punishments for any other heretics who aren’t willing to commit to poverty and economic suicide in the name of the cause.

The one big obstacle in this plan, however, is that the Governor of Alaska appears to have much bigger balls on this issue than most of the rest of the Republican Party.  She looks like a pretty big obstacle to the sort of sweeping climate legislation we need to save the Earth from cooking itself like a giant, planet-shaped rotisserie chicken sometime in the next few days.  Oh, and the worst part is that the evil Alaskan heretic looks like this:

Not that a woman’s looks should ever be a factor in the discussion of her professional effectiveness, but I’m just sayin’, rowr!

Reading through the Letters section of the local paper, I came across this letter decrying the tarring of the Obamessiah with the sins of his associates (Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, et al.). 

Of guilt by association

Rod Dreher’s piece on Barack Obama is another attempt at the guilt-by-association tack many conservatives have taken. Lacking any other means of painting Mr. Obama as unworthy of our highest office, they stoop to this.

I have come in contact with many unsavory, radical or just plain wacky characters in my life. Am I defined by them? No. I’m still a family man with a career and life of my own. I make my own decisions and take responsibility for them.

What Mr. Dreher and those like him fail to realize is that those of us of Mr. Obama’s generation are intelligent enough to listen to the previous generation and take their cries for justice and equality, strip them of their anger and pain and transform them into something all our own. The idealism of the ’60s isn’t lost on us, just the radicalism.

Charles Mikkelsen, Dallas

Mr. Mikkelsen makes the standard Obamapoligist argument that anyone who brings up the fact that his pet candidate is associated with this racist pastor or that former enemy of the state is just attempting “guilt by association.”  Well, yes.  The salient fact in Obama’s case is that these are not simply cases of loose association.  Anyone, including a public figure, has the right not to be tarred with the sins of acquaintances with whom they share nothing more than a coincidental encounter or relationships in common.  However, in Obama’s case we’re not talking about people he ran into once on the street or happened to attend a function with.  We’re talking about people with whom Barack Obama chose to be associated, in Wright’s case at the deepest social and spiritual levels for more than two decades, knowing full well what their views on this country were.  At that point, he is guilty by association.

What we’re being asked to believe is that Obama shares his life with a woman whose view of this country is overwhelmingly negative, that the pastor who mentors him utters some of the most virulent anti-American rhetoric most people have ever heard in a pulpit, and that he served on the board of the Woods Foundation with a man who set bombs trying to kill United States Army officers, but none of the hard-left politics and anti-Americanism that these people espouse rubbed off on him.  A man who asks you to believe that either thinks you’re an idiot, or is one.

The Left seems to have a serious obsession with the idea of “voices that go unheard.”  The basic premise seems to be that certain segments of society are deliberately marginalized and silenced.  Ask them who these segments are and you’re likely to get a laundry list of the hard-left’s pet demographic groups, the poor, minorities, women, the homeless, illegal immigrants, gays, youths, etc.  Central to this notion of forcing silence on groups we can’t seem to get to shut up is the idea that the white male patriarchy secretly controls all of the outlets through which political and social viewpoints are heard.  Which is why men are so often portrayed as competent, intelligent, and accomplished, while women are crass, sub-literate, ne’er-do-wells who are the constant butt of derogatory jokes about their intellect.

All of this inequity will change, of course, when the Obamessiah is allowed to take his rightful place in the Oval Office.  Suddenly, the downtrodden will once-and-for-all have their voices heard.  Hence, this video:

Here’s my problem with this steaming pile of pig excrement.  We never seem to stop hearing from these supposedly silenced vox populi.  They never, ever shut up.  Al Gore has a 24-hour cable channel devoted to nothing but this kind of crap.  Hollywood films that champion the plight of the lesbian, transsexual fighter pilot who struggles to gain acceptance among the hegemonic military patriarchy or some other similar tale find their way to the public in an almost never-ending stream.  For fuck sake, the website that hosts their own damn video (YouTube) is a world-wide cornucopia of narcissistic freak-porn that grows bigger and bigger by the second.

In all seriousness, how many damn outlets do we need for the self-styled social outcasts among us to air their constant barrage of “I don’t need your approval, but please, please watch me” bullshit.  Want to be a real voice for the silenced masses?  Start standing up for the right of ordinary, hard-working, law-abiding people in the fucking capital of our fair country to protect themselves from the criminal vermin that prey on them in shocking numbers.  Hopefully the Supreme Court will beat you to it.  Either way, it’s a more productive use of time than giving even more attention to a bunch of gullible nitwits who have been either too bitter or too obsessed with Paris Hilton and her ilk to be politically involved in the past.

I use Mozilla’s excellent Thunderbird program for managing my email, and I have to applaud the software’s instincts.  Every time I get an email from the Obama Campaign, it has the following warning that pops up:

what “Deréon” means, but I’m pretty sure that it translates roughly as “whore training.” 

The Spartans used to train their boys to be warriors from birth, this is like that except it’s little girls and we’re training them to be hookers.  On the plus side, at least we know the downfall of Western Civilization won’t be slow and drawn out.

A local girl wants to dress like a cheap call girl and attend her prom.  An adult sponsor of the event sees her dressed like something off of Cathouse: Season Two and denies her entry.  Long story short, she gets belligerent and the cops get called.  No prom for her. 

I can’t decide what the most disturbing aspect of this incident is, that a 17 year-old feels the need to dress like a hooker at her own prom, or the fact that the local television news coverage sounds so damn sympathetic.

Start up the office betting pool now and place bets on how the Huffington Post might answer it’s own question:

Obama In Kentucky And West Virginia: Why Will He Lose?

If you had your money on “because they’re all a bunch of toothless racists,” then congratulations, you’re a winner.

And yet despite his status, Obama is no match for Sen. Clinton in Kentucky and West Virginia. In the few polls that have come out over the past few weeks, Clinton has maintained a huge 30-point margin in both states. Even surveys completed after her disappointing performances in Indiana and North Carolina show an electorate entirely unfazed. And while Clinton has still proven herself popular among a large number of voters, her lead in West Virginia and Kentucky is unlike nearly any previous contest. So why is Barack Obama going to lose?

At least one pollster thinks the issue of race is defining the Kentucky primary:

“I’ll be very blunt,” said pollster Del Ali, president of Research 2000. “Even if there wasn’t a Rev. Wright controversy, I think Obama would have a tough time in Kentucky, for obvious reasons.”

The fact that 56 percent of interviewed voters said Obama’s race was not important could be due to something called the Bradley effect, Ardrey said. In 1982, Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley, who was black, was predicted to win the governor’s race by a comfortable margin but lost.

Now thank me for the easiest fifty bucks you ever made.

As it becomes more and more apparent that John McCain will try to paint himself as the truly “bipartisan” candidate, I begin to ask myself “Is it possible that the Democrats’ attempt to paint McCain as ‘too conservative’ may actually help him?”  I ask that because reading this breathless Huffington Post article about McCain’s tax plan actually made me feel good about his candidacy for the first time since I last muttered the words “First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama” quietly to myself.  Whoever Jared Bernstein is, he’s apparently shitting himself over the prospect of a McCain victory in November, in no small part because of the Republican’s evil secret plan to actually cut back the growth of government.

I hold in my hand one of the most important pieces of paper in America: Table T08-0071, an analysis of candidate John McCain’s tax plan.

OK, it’s not really in my hand because I’m typing, but I’m looking at it carefully, and you should too. It is a table constructed by the Tax Policy Center’s steely-eyed tax analysts, and it reveals nothing less than McCain’s secret plan to diminish the US government beyond recognition. If he gets his way, conservatives will finally be able to say they’ve achieved the goal set out by Grover Norquist: to get government “down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.”

 

Don’t fucking tease me Jared.  So help me, if you’re getting me all excited with Norquist quotes and the threat of unemployed federal bureaucrats just to let me down, I’ll go out and shoot an endangered species, I swear to God.

No wait, it gets better:

Plus, he can’t fill the hole he’s dug with cuts in these programs either, which leads you to the inevitable punch line of all this: his target is the entitlements, Social Security and Medicare. Those programs have always been the big enchiladas for the Norquist shock troops and they’ve never recovered from their Social Security privatization defeat. Well, they’re back, incognito.

Again, I don’t know or care who the fuck Jared Bernstein is, but evidently he failed Political Science 101.  You know, the part about “when your opponent is busy pissing off his base, don’t fucking help him by talking about his plan to carve up government programs they hate.”  But what do you expect from a guy whose biography tells us the he has a PhD in “social welfare.”  No shit, they’re giving out doctoral degrees in social welfare now.